Saturday, January 31, 2004
bored....tired...sleepy..but dun feel like sleeping....washed my fish tank...oh..how idiotic can i be?..the baby fish..was actualli a baby goldfish..and not an angelfish..sheesh!!!
only left two of them....
called eli's hse...tot can ask whether she wans to meet mi in the afternoon...arnd 5+??...darn...aiyoh..
Me: hello, sarah ader?
Sarah's bro: sarah tak der, bye bye...
line went dead..............
???????????????????????????????????
luckily...i'm no longer in NS........hahahaha..keep cool.....
darn...coz watever u do..will go back to you 10 times...not a curse..retribution??..i think tats wat my frens told mi the thing was about?? sheesh..scary...
anyways..think eli is in town??mayb??..watchin chingay eh...hmmm..many pple goin there...but its the malam raya ....
darn..even my bro is out..haha..wif his gf...no comments..sheesh
NuZ
Saturday, January 31, 2004
tired!!!!
haha...hmm..had my commercial law test..heehee...i got 80%!!! woohooo!! it's a high D rite??!!! rite??!!!
haha..i studied last minute..reallie last minute...onli yesterdae i started studying.. :P pure luck? no...it's pure genius...hahahaha (bhb)
bought my sandals...n contacts...din manage to find any nice t shirt...darn..guess reallie hafta go to kevin & smith...they reallie haf nice t shirt!!..to mi la
hmm...ada got spotted for modelling..c? i told u u can b a model..sheesh...din believe mi rite?? haha..now da kena spot...
darn..i think i'm gettin fatter now..i need to jog..reallie need....
met ely on thursday (yesterdae)at SIM...met her mum.. :))
heehee.....nothin else to sae but..heehee....cool...
and ada darling..reading tis?...remember to stay cool when u call that guy ya..haha...dun sound desperate..n too happy...later u sound too happy, become too excited..then when sound too excited....heh heh...u noe wats gonna happen la eh..
k la guess tats abt it....next week..financial planning subject...sigh..i reallie need tat..haha
Tuesday, January 27, 2004
this fridae...commercial law test..10%....sigh...
i need a miracle..
been raining these few daes..cooling...but..wet...haha..wat am i tokin about??
went to gym wif 3 of my buddies..haha...added 1 more..cool..mayb one day we'll have the whole class!! haha
handi told mi he has bought U.S currency..forgot how much he bought...wat's the rate again??...darn...shld i buy too??..hmm...juz wait n see....think it'll go down further...
the stupid SIM webbie couldn't load..how the hell am i to check my student portal!!! goddammit!! aarrgghh!!!
NuZ
Tuesday, January 27, 2004
got my toys....actualli it was a present from my dad...yet to buy my shirt n sandals...need to go to flash n splash...
yesterdae's pentas pujangga sucks!!!!!!!!! to the core!!!!! fucking shit...waste of my money..even tho i bought for 2 bucks less..but still a waste of money!!!! knn..
no food, no drinks...and worse!! the judge din reallie speak malay..sheesh...one of them, saed research.,.....issh...kajian la bodoh!!!
tok bout speakin malay...emcee toked bout belen belen...bahasa melayu mana ader belen2 dek ooiii....
met my old frens...one of them was wif mi durin the first 3 mths..kind of interestin...he noes my fren's fren!! haha...we were like huggin..gosh! i missed him..long time din c..haha..we played rugby together last time..till he decided to go to a poly after his O's..met my other frens...missed them soo much...haha..lendra! so nice to c u again..najip, khairul(darn he neglected mi cos there's a gal beside him!!) , firdaus, suhadi, eddy...aww.....long time din c them sia....reallie missed them..haha..hugs went round among us..soo nice to c them again!!...oh..forgot..hadi..hahaha..
then saw azuan tan..ahha...he was my instructior at SMM..the gorilla.. :P
came back around 1am..sheesh..it was raining..went back wif suhadi, eddy...and hmm...one of suhadi's frens...dunno his name..or..i forgot...haha...
i finished my portrait....din meet eli...i guess..i hafta juz parcel it....n i noe...u juz read my blog...u tagged mi....how nice....
i dun think u would c mi...soo...i dun haf a choice rite?..juz parcel it....n i noe..u'd b too bz for mi..soo..i wun call u..even if death comes knockin my door..i noe..u'll luv ot hear the pain n sufferrin that i may experience...but..too bad..some nice things..r better left alone w/o sharing.....
NuZ
*tomorrow start of commercial law for mi.....*
Saturday, January 24, 2004
no. 1 rule i learned yesterdae...
nevr, and i mean NEVER Smoke Shesha 2 times in within a few hours alone consecutively!!!
darn..i learned it the hard way....my tummy felt a lil...how shld i sae...airy?haha...
felt like burping..darn..forgot to buy eno...
well..later meetin my frens for the pesta pujangga.....
wonderin wat i shld wear...
NuZ
(now my bro's room smells of apple..coz of the shesha..)
Saturday, January 24, 2004
nearly finished the portrait of eli...hopefully can pass to her tomorrow....
hmm..guess wat i'm smoking?? shesha...comfort in my own home...ahhhh...the luxury.....
nothin much...i havent kapur my bro's kasut..lum lagi cuci kain..sheeshh!!
i'm gonna b dead tired tomorrow!!
Thursday, January 22, 2004
todae..i turn 23....todae..watched 2 movies wif my fren..haha..cheaper by the dozen(again!!) and peter pan...ouch..my butt hurts man...
my bro..heehee..elder bro gave mi 88 bucks..haha...well..in chinese...its good luck ;)
younger bro, best..gave mi an orange yesterdae..as a present heehee...cute..
"abg yunus, idris ader present. orange tadi dapat kat skola. abg yunus makan la..."
haha cute...
then he gave me a card in the morning..whick wrote" to abg yunus, i'm sorry, i'm sorry i always made you angry.."
awwww sooo sweet...
my parents gave mi a card..i nearly cried after readin it...call mi emo..but if u really read it..n think back of all the things they haf gone thru to support u..u will understand...
well then...now juz wait for sundae..gettin my toy..and i'm not obsessed wif it..its juz that..its my hobby. at least i dun collect girls!!!
NuZ
Thursday, January 22, 2004
Wednesday, January 21, 2004
todae's... the eve of my bdae..the worst i eva had.... n guess wat? ely din respond to my msg on msn..c? c? now who's the one who's stopping us frm communicatin..mi or her???!!!! sheesh!!!
oh FYI ely, most of the gals r attached k..(c? i told u we r juz frens!! n u still dun believe me? )sheesh!! fine... go to tat khairul, kamal ..watever fuck his name is..go beg..let him sweet talk u for wateva shit reasons he wans or wateva shit thoughts he has at the back of his head!!! u never learn do u?....u never learn....
n one more thing...when i called u two daes ago...ur hp rang..n then.u saed ' c? he's callin mi now..i'm not goin to pick it up.." interesting...coz u saed urhp was down..n even when u pick it up..the person at the other end can't hear ur voice..soo..wat do u mean when u saed..u r not gonna pick it up....u r avoidin mi..yes u r.....
i'm here..n u never even notice me.....u never even care!! and u saed i din care...i din love..fuck u!!!!!
Wednesday, January 21, 2004
Tuesday, January 20, 2004
i din go reverse bungee....coz poor ada was on medication..its ok ya?
haha...at least i hepled...ok la..using ur words.."gave my opinions" to u..haha ;)
hmm..i neber chose any clothing for any pple b4?..well except for guys..even my mum..i neber gave my opinions..haha
well..the reverse bungee..looked high..well..ok la..
hmm..on the news..a new ride..the catapult..sounds like fun..n dangerous..haha
and oh..ada..if u reading tis...soursop is durian belanda..n jackfruit is cempedak..nangka i dunno wat la..but i think mat salleh tak tau wats a nangka..soo..it din make it to their dictionary..hahaha :P
Tuesday, January 20, 2004
why did i bother...she never liked mi..she never liked mi more than a fren...now the guy is gone...no matter wat i saed...she won't like mi!...why do i always care??!!
why?!!
yah...she never liked to date...but oohh yeh.."he asked mi on a date"....sheesh ..n if i'm not wrong..it used to sound to mi like " i dun go out on dates..i hate dates..." and oh...one more " i will always ask the guy whether he knows my ex the first qn"..haha...n then..tis guy...late rthen she found out that he was her ex's best fren! well waddya noe?!
she read all my blogs..but did she read the poems?...i gave to her..e songs i dedicated to her?? no~!!
sigh..i'm a loser..hope u r happy..i juz asked to cancel ur trip..ok..fine..i noe ur aunt oredi took a dae off...but sheesh...i..
damn..why do i bother askin her to meet me?!! she wun even enjoy herself..she wun accept me.....
i'm not prepared to go such a long journey wif u..sorree....its too far..esp with the responsibility of taking care of ur safety....i noe u r independent..but hell..all arnd us..guys r meant to protect the ladies we go out wif...n..goin that dist..i'm not prepared...yet...
sorree...i tried tooo damn hard...to please u...to love u....i'm soo sorree...i noe..u r depressed....but..sigh...i'm reallie sorrie....hope u r happy...sarah....
i love you.......
thanks...
NuZ
yesterdae..my bro came back sayin that a gal wanted to commit suicide at a block nearby ours....police and firemen came..she stopped the idea of jumping...
....could tat b mi in the future?......hope u will b happy eli...when that happens to mi....
NuZ
an email i received...
: Why do you like me? Why do you love me?
Man : I can't tell the reason... But I really like you...
Lady : You can't even tell me the reason... How can you say you like
me? How can you say you love me?
Man : I really don't know the reason, but I can prove that I love you.
Lady : Proof? No! I want you to tell me the reason.My friend's
boyfriend can tell her why he loves her, but not you!
Man : OK..OK!!! Erm...because you are beautiful, because your voice is sweet, because you are caring, because you are loving, because you are thoughtful, because of your smile, because of your every movements...
Unfortunately, a few days later, the Lady met with an accident and
became comma.
The Guy then placed a letter by her side, and here is th! e con tent :
Dearest,
Because of your sweet voice that I love you...
Now can you talk? No! Therefore I cannot love you.
Because of your care and concern that I like you... Now that you cannot show them, therefore I cannot love you.
Because of your smile, because of your every movements that I love you... Now can you smile? Now can you move? No, therefore I cannot love you...
If love needs a reason, like now, there is no reason for me to love you anymore.
Do love need a reason? NO!
Therefore, I still love you... And love doesn't need a reason
"When loving someone ... never regret what you do ...
Only regret what you didn't do"
watched 2 movies..mona lisa smile and cheaper by the dozen....heartwarming..touchin...
mona lisa smile..if gals misinterpret it...they may think that gettin married and not furtherin their studies should b their way of life.....interesting uh?
went to clarke quay...looked at the reverse bungee.....kind of high...if u double the ht....should be a certain death if u fall on ur head.....
NuZ
Saturday, January 17, 2004
to eliasarah marzat atamar taharuddin chaniago
i guess...tis song suits.....
Jika Kau bercinta lagi
cintalah sepenuhnya
jika kau bercinta lagi
jagalah kau hatinya
engkau yang memilihnya
tanpa memikirkan tentang diriku
kini ku hanya dapat berdoa
agar berbahagia kau disampingnya
aku tak dapat menghalang
engkau punya kemahuan sendiri
biarku hidup hanya mengenang
peristiwa yang tak dapat ku lupa
kini aku hanya dapat berdoa
agar berbahagia kau disampingnya
selamat tinggal
aku mengundurkan diri
bY aLLeycatS...diberikan nafas baru from flop poppy....
Saturday, January 17, 2004
oh my God!
wat is wrong wif mi!!!??!!!
i feel sick!..like vomittin...had my first tears droppin...fuck!!
i was think..of ely..and the new guy....
why am i feelin this way??!!!
did think..partly my fault..i missed too many pple...sigh...but i reallie tot i showed her some care...at least i din force her to go out wif mi durin weekends..i asked her first whether she's free....
then she..sigh..we totaly lost contact...so..i din quite noe wat she thinks...
n like i saed to her....i always looked dwn on myself....n...i dun think someone like her..would ever accept mi...furthermore..she saed...she wanted to b free....for the time being...n i guess..it was my fault..for not findin out..the time frame...
then when i told her i wanted to start somethin wif her...she totally acted strange...sigh...but then again...
durin our last conversation on the fone b4 my exams...u did sae ..u owd mi a hug and a kiss...then a mth later..i saed u dun mi anythin..coz..i tot...tat..it was bcoz of tat...u din wanna c mi..u kept forgettin our appts...even tho u saed u missed mi....sigh...u saed b4 u din like dating..but u sae..now u r currently datin a guy...u din wan a relationship..but u juz saed tat u feel lonely...
i am an idiot in love an relationships........i hate tis feelin that i'm havin now....no use explainin to u..i noe...coz u wun care...after all that had happened to u in e past....it will still b kept within mi.....as long as u r happy..i will b happy for u...but...whether i'll live a happy life...i dun noe...coz..now..after all thses..i dunnoe whether i can even concentrate on my studies now.....u were the reason y i did well for my exams...
gosh! i'm cryin..fuck..
Saturday, January 17, 2004
Busted - Losing You
Artist: Busted
Album: Busted
Title: Losing You
yeahhhhh
sitting here alone thinking it through trying to convince myself that i'm
not losing you,
or can't you just forget the things i said
i was angry at the time but now i cleared my head
it was so strong, where did it all go wrong
[chorus]
so tell me why, i'm swimming against the tide
and i'm praying for a lifeline, cos i'm
losing you
so tell me why, you took care enough to try
are you giving up this fight, i can't stand,
wont stand, losing you
you don't have to say a word its in your eyes
what can i do to convince you we need more time
and i know i may have made a few mistakes
but losing you is just too much for me to take
it was so strong, where did it all go wrong
[chorus]
so tell me what to say
because i need, a chance to change
and i wont let you walk away
[chorus x2]
Saturday, January 17, 2004
let me start on my cigarettes again,
so that i can die a slow....painful death...
even though painful...
many would be gatherin round me
cheering me up
supporting me...
to live my final years...dyin slowly.....
NuZ
Saturday, January 17, 2004
I HATE MYSELF!!!!!!!
I WANNA KILL MYSELF!!!!!!!
ok.. fine...to anyone who readin this..if i miss someone..doesn't mean i like that person ok?..doesn't mean i have feelings for that person ok... sheesh...
no one had made me cry more...than tis gal named eliasarah...
n i am soo stupid to put all these on my blog...coz i tot pple will understand....
I SHOULD JUZ KEPT ON WRITIN STUPID POEMS INSTEAD OF PUTTIN HOW MY DAY WENT. AND SHE WAS THE FIRST PERSON I GOT TO KNOW WHO I CAN CLICK WELL. AND SHE'S THE ONLY ONE WHOM I FELT REALLIE BAD WHEN SHE HAD LOTS OF PROBS IN SCH, AND I EVEN ASKED HER TO CALL MI WHEN HER CAR WENT INTO A PILLAR EVEN THOUGH I WAS ALREADY SLEEPING.
NOW, ALL IS LOST, GONE! FOREVER! I AM NOT GOIN TO WRITE THINGS ANYMORE!
TALK BOUT CARING, I TRIED TO CALL BUT UR PHONE WAS ALWAYS DEAD, AND U R ALWAYS NOT AT HM EVEN THO ITS 11+ AT NITE, AND I DIN WANNA DISTURB U DURING WEEKDAES COZ U ALWAYS COMPLAIN OF BEING BUSY AND TIRED. SORRY, I DIN NOE THAT WASN'T BEING CARING ENUFF. AND TO WAKE UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT JUST TO MAKE SURE U NEBER CRY WHEN THE CAR HAD A DENT, I GUESS THAT WASN'T CARING ALSO. AND I'M SORRY THAT WHEN U HAD A MTH LONG SORE THROAT, MY METHOD OF CURING IT DIN WORK.....SORRY I DIN CARE YA....SORRY I TOLD U OFF WHEN UWASTED YOUR MONEY ON THE PIERCING OF YOUR BELLY BUTTON...SHEESH... AT LEAST I SPENT ON TOYS..BUT IN THE FUTURE IT CAN BRING MI EXTRA MONEY! SORRY YA
and sorry i din sae i wanna haf a steady relationship wif u when u saed u r not ready for a relationship. sorry i stopped u frm goin to brunei after ur degree bcoz iwanted to start somethin wif u. i'm sorry u forgot that we had agreed to meet in the dec hols a week after i came back frm melaka...i'm sorry to come into ur life...i'm sorry coz idin haf the courage to tell u again how much i needed u and had to think all possible ways to stop u frm goin to brunei. i'm sorry if i cared soo much but din show it...i'm soo sorry that u were actualli looking for love...i'm sorry coz i am taking my degree now and not earning!!!
I'M SOOO DARN SORRY, TO HAVE FALLEN IN LOVE IN YOU...I DUN NOE IT WAS WRONG....
dun feel like goin to pentas pujangga.....girls posess me...but they are never mine.....
Saturday, January 17, 2004
oh..todae din go reverse bungee..my fren was sick..sigh...darn..wat a dae..
get well soon yah? :)
hmmm..i juz found out tomorrow..i'm supposed to meet my ex sec schmates for dinner..haha...luckily it was cancelled...coz i totally forgot!! haha...
tis sundae..i'm meetin some guy..for my transformers..heehee...17 bucks...interestin price..the power of havin a reserve price attached..ooh...
then..mayb meetin another fren..mayb la...i think...not la... :S
juz wait n c la
"The hardest thing in life is to know which bridge to cross and which to burn."
-David Russell
NuZ
one question came thru my mind while walkin home...well.i'm always in deep thoughts when i'm walkin home or anywhere wif my earphones stuck in my ears....that's why i hate to bump into my frens (or enemies) when i'm walkin alone!!
this the qn...
i noe..many pple..or so called frens..try to "advise" their frens or acquaintances....bout the health hazards of smoking....and they will "force" them to quit smokin. With all kinds of stupid reasons given..cancer, waste of money, etc etc..blah blah blah...
but come to think of it..smokin and alcohol consumption has the same bad effects...but why is it that pple who drink like every week..(but the consumption is like..fuh..alot) haf the moral support of some peers sometimes....and those who dun gif the moral support (haha) they never advise bout the harmful effects of drinkin....hmm.....interesting tot..
go figure!!
"Bad habits are like a comfortable bed, easy to get into, but hard to get out of."
-Anon.
Tuesday, January 13, 2004
Todae..almost like every other dae....classmates all noisy..fidgety...
my muscles achin as a result of yesterdae's work out...but..it feels good..heehee ;)
Sally Morris " The Fox, cagey, resourceful, careful. Has a thinking of 'It's not whether you win or lose; it's how you play the game.'
These people aim for perfection, they are to be seen to have objectivity to focus on policy and procedures. They fear both their own and others' illogical acts will affect goal achievements and do not like to be embarrased..."..
the fox..the cautious thinker...the fox.....me....
NuZ
Tuesday, January 13, 2004
hmm..start of new week..start of new subj..new lecturer..
poor sally(my lecturer)..toked n toked..but no one seems to listen..sheesh..
y can't u pple show some respect and juz keep ur bloody fucken mouth shut!!!
damn..even if the lecture's borin..hell..juz shut up la...sheesh...
went to gym...okla..kind of packed...but..finally la...oh..still coughin..sheesh
NuZ
hmm.interesting..i went to tis webbie :-
http://quizilla.com/users/donarepa/quizzes/What%20Rose%20Is%20Your%20Soul%20Bound%20To%3F
and then supposed to ans some qns..so tat the webbie can sae wat kind of rose i am..hmm..n here's the result,
"Your soul is bound to the Rose Petals: The Wronged. "'ve come undone and all hopes of mending me are gone because the pain took my soul. Can't you see? The only one who can put me back together again is me." The Rose Petals are associated with sorrow, reflection, and wisdom. They are governed by the goddess Persephone and their sign is The Teardrop, or Broken Love. As a Rose Petal, you are always self-reflective and may be hard on yourself. You probably have been hurt in the past by other people and can sometimes distance yourself, as a result. You don't usually let other get too close to you, but you are very good at mending your spirits back together by yourself."
InTerEstiNg....
bored...sigh...i got the cock sucker in my group..sheesh...hafta be patient...darn...
tomorrow..the last week of school before my term break starts..wahahaha...soo good..
goin gym tomorrow wif my buddies frm school....fridae..going for reverse bungee...yeehoo..
dunno y i'm goin..but i feel like doin somethin crazy...haha
NuZ
"Experience is one thing you can't get for nothing."
-Oscar Wilde
Wednesday, January 07, 2004
its midweek...more bitches and bastards are emerging in my class..sheesh..if they think tat they r sooo clever...why the hell are they in my school?..why not go SMU, NUS...sheesh...arseholes!!!
semalam nyigau...haha...switched on the tv in my room.. :P dunno wat happened sia...oooh...
miss her...yesterdae she was havin a headache...soo, i couldn't call her..sigh..she called mi siao...for sayin that i missed her.. :s
so sad... sigh....
"..people never get appreciated until they are gone..."
-adapted from "The Business of Dying"
Wednesday, January 07, 2004
Saturday, January 03, 2004
kind of interesting..went to my fren's engagement thing...haha..n he was like.."hmm, malas nak tunang..tapi da siap ni semua..takpela..jalankan sudah"..haha...sheesh..din he think who he wants to b wif? sheesh
then no one was at hm..except for him n his sis..soo..da mcm hari raya..haha..
but he still looked quite unseure whether wat he did..was right..oh my....
i reallie hope that he will live happily....
tomorrow, goin to clarke quay..gettin my toy...total of 38 bucks... :)
then goin around..checkin some stuffs out..mayb can get a vintage toy..hmm....
NuZ
Saturday, January 03, 2004
wats wrong wif keepin toys for a collection??..i dun keep powerpuff girls?!!!..i dun keep carebears!!!...i keep transformers!!.and i dun buy those kiddo's toys..i buy reissues, limited editions...those that will haf values in the future!!!..God have mercy on these unsupportive peeps...
at least i dun do drugs!!!
sheesh
NuZ
Saturday, January 03, 2004
"You can discover what your enemy fears most by observing the means he uses to frighten you."
-Eric Hoffer
Saturday, January 03, 2004
"Immature love says: 'I love you because I need you.' Mature love says 'I need you because I love you.'"
-Erich Fromm
